How to Quit Ballet the Correct Way                                                                                    October 2025

 

While "everyone quits ballet eventually" is true, leaving any long-term passion can be difficult, whether you are a child, a teenager or an adult. But leaving the "correct way" can give you peace of mind, and it involves preparing for the emotional transition, having a conversation with your parents, and a respectful conversation with your teacher.

 

Deciding when to quit is a personal and multi-faceted decision. Several factors might indicate it's time for a change or a break. 

• When ballet feels like a chore and your motivation to go to class is gone, it might be a sign.

• A high level of pain or repeated injury can indicate that ballet is no longer sustainable for your body. Rest is crucial for recovery, and sometimes a permanent break is necessary.

• Ballet is a time-intensive discipline. As other interests and priorities emerge, you may find that ballet is consuming too much of your time and energy.

• The older and more experienced you get, the more your career goals may change. It is normal to realize that you want to pursue a different path in life.

• If your motivation comes from a parent's aspirations rather than your own, you might feel a lack of fulfillment. 

 

Steps you should take if you are thinking about quitting ballet

1. Before you speak to anyone, take some time to reflect on why you want to quit. It is useful to make a list of pros and cons for continuing or leaving ballet. Put down anything you think of, even if it seems silly, like ‘I love pink pointe shoes.’ Revisit your list after a month. Are your reasons for staying or for leaving still relevant?

 

2. Have a calm, thoughtful conversation with your parents. Be sure to thank them for their support and the many opportunities they've given you. 

 

3. Speak to your teacher in person. This is one of the most important steps.

• It is disrespectful to stop showing up to class or to cancel over text or email. A face-to-face meeting shows respect for their time and investment in you.

• Be honest and positive. Focus on your own growth and new opportunities rather than the school's flaws. For example, "I've learned so much here, but I've decided to pursue other interests" is better than "I'm leaving because I'm bored with class".

• Never quit once rehearsals are underway. The ideal time to step away is during the off-season, typically the summer, before any rehearsals have begun. Leaving during a rehearsal period creates significant extra work for your teacher (to find a replacement for you) and burdens your friends with extra rehearsals to adjust formations.

• Leave on good terms. The dance world is small, so it is best not to burn any bridges. 

 

4. Grieve and find a new identity. A long-term passion is tied to your sense of self and losing it can feel like a major loss. Acknowledge these feelings and give yourself time to process them. Focus on expanding your social circle and exploring new interests to build a new identity for yourself outside of dance. 

 

Finally, remember that letting go of the passion of intense ballet training doesn't have to be a complete ending. You could take a break and return later, switch to a different style of dance, or take a less intensive schedule.

 

 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RUDE, MEAN AND BULLYING BEHAVIOUR                                     September 2025

 

It is tough to tell the difference between rude, mean, and bullying behavior. They seem similar, but they are not the same. Knowing the difference can help you figure out the best way to deal with each situation.

 

RUDENESS

Rudeness is usually accidental and isn't meant to hurt feelings. It's thoughtless and happens when someone isn't paying attention or thinking about others. It's often a one-time thing and is not done in anger.

 * Example 1: A student rushes to be first at the barre, accidentally bumping into another without apologizing. This isn't intended to hurt the other person, but it's disrespectful and inconsiderate.

 * Example 2: After class, a student hurries to the dressing room, leaving their water bottle and shoes on the studio floor, making everyone else walk around their mess. They are not trying to be disrespectful; they are just in a rush and not thinking about how their actions affect others.
* Example 3: During class, a student is partnered with someone they don't know well. They don’t make eye contact or say "thank you" after class. This is poor social etiquette, not a purposeful snub.

 

MEANNESS

Meanness differs from rudeness because it is on purpose. Its intentional behavior is meant to hurt feelings, but it’s usually a one-time or short-term thing or between two people.

* Example 1: A jealous student says, "You only got that role because you're the favorite, not because you're a good dancer." This is a purposeful insult intended to hurt the other student's feelings.
* Example 2: During a costume fitting, one student sees another's costume and loudly says, "Wow, that looks terrible on you! It makes you look huge." This is a cutting insult intended to cause shame.
* Example 3: A dancer is struggling with pirouettes. As they finish, another dancer walks by and says with a sneer, "Maybe you should try using your arms. It's not that hard." This is a purposeful comment meant to belittle their struggle, and not to help them.
 

BULLYING

Bullying is when someone is repeatedly and intentionally mean to another person, and there's a difference in power between them. The bully might be older, stronger, or more popular, which makes it hard for the other person to stand up for themselves. Bullying isn't just a one-time thing and it's meant to cause serious and lasting harm - physical, emotional, or social, to make the other person feel helpless and afraid.

 * Example 1: A group of older or more skilled dancers repeatedly make fun of a younger student about her leotard, her bun, and her technique. They spread rumors about her and purposely exclude her from group photos or social events, making her feel isolated. Repeated public humiliation and aggression with a power imbalance leaves the victim feeling helpless.

 * Example 2: A group of the most popular dancers in the class consistently "ice out" a less experienced student. They constantly whisper and laugh when she walks by, purposefully excluding her from social circles, and post photos of their ballet "squad" with captions like "No room for bad dancers." Repeated, organized exclusion and social media shaming is bullying and is harmful.

 * Example 3: An older dancer is repeatedly and subtly tripping a younger dancer during class. When she's not tripping her, she's "accidentally" stepping on her pointe shoes in the dressing room or hiding her bobby pins before class. The younger dancer is afraid to say anything because she feels she is a target, and no one will believe her. This is a pattern of targeted, harmful behavior.

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Why We Shouldn’t Teach Kids to Be Nice                                                                     October 2024

 

What we all want is:

• Kids who have healthy relationships

• Kids that aren’t doormats to the schoolyard bully

• Kids to have a strong independent backbone

 

If so, let’s not teach kids to be nice.

What does it mean to be nice?

Nice is about being a certain way: polite, civilized, showing social skills and etiquette.

 

That really doesn’t sound too bad, BUT it might mean that kids must:

• Deny, avoid and distract from their true feelings – which brings about stress and anxiety

• Avoid conflict and find a compromise at all costs

• Not be assertive, instead find a way to get along with the other person even though that person might not treat them well

We don’t want children to be taken advantage of, we want them to learn to communicate, instead of being afraid to speak up because social conditioning that taught them to “be nice.”

 

So, let’s teach kids to be kind instead.

What does it mean to be kind?

Kindness is being thoughtful, caring, considerate, but strong, confident and self-caring.

Kindness is rooted in empathy and acceptance.

 

What’s the difference between nice and kind?

Kindness is based on your own values and worldviews, while niceness is how other people see you.

One can still be kind, while tackling conflict and being direct with people, which can lessen stress and anxiety, while building confidence and self-assuredness. 

Being kind does not always look like being ‘nice.’

 

Let’s change the focus from a false sense of harmony by “being nice”, and instead teach kids:

• To know their boundaries and not allow anyone to cross over them

• To respect the boundaries and freedoms of others

• Not everyone is going to like them, nor should they have to

• They don’t need to be friends with everyone, nor should they feel the need to

 

It is important to encourage kids to move away from robotic messages of convenience that are fueled by this Instagram world. A world where everyone is just nice to each other with glowing praise and lots of “likes”.

 

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Dealing with Disappointment                                                                                       July 2024

 

Dealing with disappointment is tough. Everyone has experienced disappointment as everyone has wanted something that they couldn’t yet achieve. In ballet, maybe this happens when casting is posted, or when some dancers get pointe shoes, or when level placements come out. Sometimes a parent tells me that their child is disappointed as all their friends were cast in better roles, or got moved up, or got pointe shoes and now their child is feeling left behind and left out. 

 

Our school has a limited number of levels which means that most students will spend several years in the same level along the journey, as everyone has their own skill set and develops at their own rate. 

 

If your child has flat feet, or if they sickle, or have limited rotation from the hip socket, or have physical issues to overcome it will take them longer than children who don’t. Some children take more time to develop large motor skills, musicality, coordination, or have problems picking up and retaining choreography and corrections when compared to their peers. Does this mean they won’t overcome these things and maybe even eventually surpass their counterparts? Absolutely not. It can be a matter of hard work and practice, sure, but it can also be the fact that their brain or body just hasn’t developed in those areas yet. Sadly, sometimes it will not matter what they do or how hard they work at it, they might not catch up, but even then, it doesn’t mean the child still can’t love dancing.

 

If a dancer isn’t cast in a role, it is because there are others more capable of doing it right now. It’s unkind to give a dancer a role in which we know they won’t succeed just because they want it. If we withhold pointe shoes, it is for safety reasons. It is an honor for ballet teachers to tell a child that they are ready to take that next step in their training, but it is also a responsibility, and we take it seriously. If we do not move your child up a level, it is because other dancers are ahead of them technically and/or there are things that need to be accomplished that haven’t yet.

 

Someone will always be at the top of the class, and someone will always be at the bottom. But if a child is working as hard as they can, and loves to dance, does it matter where they fall in the ranking?

A ballet teacher will always be happy with a student regardless of their ability if they work hard, focus, listen and be receptive to corrections with a positive attitude.

 

Here are some proactive things you as a parent can do to up your child’s success rate:

 

·         Have your dancer add classes each week if they aren’t overwhelmed or uninterested.  

·         Have them pursue summer study - away from the home studio when they get older.   

·         Ask the teacher for exercises to address your child’s needs and do them with them at home.

·         Encourage your child to practice things that are challenging for them at home.

·         Buy your child a notebook where they can write corrections for later review.  

·         Cross train with Pilates, yoga, or swimming to help core strength, flexibility or stamina.  

 

Progress is not linear. Students don’t get solos just because they’re a high school senior, or they won’t always be the best in class just because they are right now, and just because a student had a solo last year, doesn’t mean they will automatically get one this year. Students won’t always be placed in the same level with friends their age, and not all twelve-year-old girls will automatically get pointe shoes.

 

Ballet training teaches many valuable life lessons beyond the artistic: discipline, perseverance, teamwork, confidence, body awareness, attention to detail, self-expression, and patience, are skills that ballet students use in other aspects of their lives. Disappointment happens and will continue to happen in life and in dance. Learning to deal with these emotions now, as young dancers, will help your child not only be a stronger dancer emotionally but more resilient and confident as they grow older.